Letting go.

Sunday, December 7, 2014
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
When the Time is Right

There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering.

We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources.

Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse.

It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say, “I don’t know,” and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none.

While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.

Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever.

Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.


Hallo vrienden,

In de afgelopen jaar zijn er veel verzoeken gedaan door verschillende kranten, TV progamma’s en bladen die met mij interviews wilden doen. Ik heb dit bewust niet gedaan voor een aantal redenen.

Twee maanden geleden ben ik benaderd door het redactie van het blad “Lef” en na veel nadenken en goede raad inwinnen heb ik het besluit genomen om het interview te doen.

Ik heb inmiddels het interview zelf gelezen en ik sta achter wat er in staat. Ik vind het een goed, eerlijke stuk.

Ik hoop dat het interview een beetje inzicht zal geven in een onbegrijpelijk verhaal.

Keith Bakker



“Grace isn’t just forgiveness, it is forgiveness fueled by surrender.”

I had a great talk with my friend Rebecca the other day and it has stuck with me constantly since then. It was about the Grace of God.

Can you imagine, just for one minute, that what was written about Christ on the cross may be true? The idea that He allowed himself to be hung up for you and for me in order that we may be forgiven for all the crap that we have done? It is just too much for me to understand. I see that I must experience it.

It was only when I was in a prison cell with nothing left to give that I began to experience the Grace of God that I have heard about for so many years. It is true, there is nothing, absolutely nothing that I can do to pay for the Grace of God that I want and need. It is a gift and I can choose to accept it or not.

As the great hymn “Amazing Grace” tells us… I was blind but now I see.

The inner conflict.

I will never hide behind my addictions as an excuse for my mistakes. I am responsible. I am responsible for my choices and I can choose how to respond to my circumstances. I have a choice. When I forget this, I am lost.

The most difficult thing that I try and do every day is to forgive myself. I know that God forgives me but I don’t forgive me. I guess this is what Grace is all about.


“We did not choose to become addicts.”

When we were growing up, all of us had dreams. Every child has heard a relative or neighbour ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Even if some of us didn’t have elaborate dreams of success, most of us dreamed of work, families, and a future of dignity and respect. But no one asked, “Do you want to be an addict when you grow up?”

We didn’t choose to become addicts, and we cannot choose to stop being addicts. We have the disease of addiction. We are not responsible for having it, but we are responsible for our recovery. Having learned that we are sick people and that there is a way of recovery, we can move away from blaming circumstances-or ourselves-and into living the solution. We didn’t choose addiction, but we can choose recovery.

Just for Today: I choose recovery.


It seems almost too simple to be true, but acceptance — accepting things exactly as they are — can be the key that unlocks the door to happiness.

After John 3:16, it may be one of the most quoted passages in literature. It’s from Page 449 (first 3 editions, pg. 417 in the 4th edition) of Alcoholics Anonymous or The Big Book as it is widely known:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.